Who the hell am I
Today I was given a bandanna by somebody who knows how much I love them, but it just does not make sense to wear it like a dirty hippie anymore but I wanted to wear my new gift so I just tossed it on. Here is a picture of how it looks, I mean who the hell is that? That is not me, at least that is not the me that I thought I was.
There are many different parts of me and it seems like depending on the external influence dictates which one I subconsciously let out more. On the one hand I am a dirty hippie, a vegetarian who wants to go to college and get into agricultural business to check up on animal living conditions. The rest of me does not seem to match up with this though, I work at an online marketing agency. I am one of the biggest nerds around I play DnD, I LARP, I watch tons of Star Trek, I am rolling a warhammer 40k campaign soon, and I just led a group of my sister’s friends in werewolf. I am about to get back into ballet; a troupe has asked me to dance with them, and I agreed.
I do not want to choose any one of these things, but I am scared I will have to to make any great strides forward in my life. I am doing my best not to lose any part of myself in this period of my life where I set up who I will be for the rest of my life. I wake up each day and have to reaquaint myself with the man in the mirror. All of these external changes really just force me to accept the constant change in my life. My brain is to full that it is leaking out on to the floor; the dripping of it keeps me up at night and makes it difficult to talk to people.