freewalker

So I have been getting spammed by these ‘electronic cigarette’ people repeatedly. I posted about my struggle quiting smoking and they then post some BS about them quitting and turning to the e-cigarette or whatever it is called. What a JOKE! I would rather smoke regular cigarettes than get a vaporized form of nicotine from an insert. And what about the potential harm?? Nicotine is DEADLY….what would happen if a young person got a hold of that little cartridge and ate it? Or even a pet?

ELECTRONIC CIGARETTES ARE EVIL AND STUPID! It is just another example of the capitalists trying to profit from your pain. Don’t buy it! It’s crap! Show me some medical evidence these viagra smokes are safer. Don’t be fooled.

PS….I will post all the spam from the e-cig people to this post so you can see how hard they are trying to sell their toxins.

PPS…DON’T BUY AN ELECTRONIC CIGARETTE…..STUPID IDEA, DANGEROUS DRUG, IDIOTIC CAPITALISTS AT THEIR BEST.

=p

I have quit smoking hundreds of times; I guess I was bound to get it right eventually!

I know most smokers have probably tried to quit before as well.

Don’t look at those attempts as failures. Look at them as trial separations.

What did you learn from your past attempts to quit? I know I learned something new each time I tried to quit. I learned the different things that trigger my urges to smoke. I tend to want to smoke the most when I am feeling strong emotions whether it be anger, stress, sadness, or even happiness! Any time I am overcome with emotion, my first thought is to have a cigarette. I also learned that stress won’t take a break for me while I quit. Things will be stressful and may even seem worse than usual because you are trying not to smoke.

Cigarettes are very efficient at delivering nicotine to you body. Within seconds of that first puff you start to feel the effects. You think the cigarette is making you feel better, but it’s really not. Have you ever finished a cigarette only to feel like you need another right after? That’s because you are addicted to the nicotine and it traps you in the cycle of addiction just like heroin and other addictive substances.

One of the many things I tried was a game for my Nintendo DS called My Quit Smoking Coach with Allan Carr. I didn’t play it all the way through because, to be honest, I’m not very good at video games and it got too hard for me. It got to the point where the game had me so upset I would want to smoke from playing it. But there is some very good information about smoking in the beginning of the game.

Here is a link to his webpage: http://allencarr.com/central/article/36/the-allen-carr-method

Now, I wouldn’t say it is as easy as all that. But I will tell you that the things I learned about the cycle of addiction and how smoking ‘brainwashes’ you really helped me keep my focus. The most powerful illustration is one about well-being. Before you ever smoked a cigarette, your well-being was at, let’s say, a 10. You smoke the cigarette and it elevates your feeling of well-being temporarily to a 10.5, but then it quickly drops to a 9 after you are done smoking and the nicotine wears off. So you smoke again which temporarily brings your well-being to a 9.5 which quickly drops back down to an 8. The cycle continues until your sense of well-being is so low that you feel horrible and think cigarettes are what will make you feel better. But as you see, they really won’t.

That’s all for today. Don’t want to overwhelm anyone with too much information.

Just remember, those who succeed never stop trying.

Don’t give up on quitting just because you smoked a cigarette or two or a hundred…..just look at those attempts as learning experiences. Look at the methods you’ve used in the past, maybe they weren’t the right ones for you. Maybe the patch works for you, maybe it doesn’t. Same for the gums, lozenges, and other methods. If you keep trying, you will eventually get it right.

There is a place I go where I have total control of the environment. It’s a little slice of heaven where only cool people like me are allowed to be. There is no conflict, drama, or stress there. I don’t have to worry about things like how I look or how I’m going to get there. I can go there at 1 pm or 4 am. I can show up drunk as a skunk or jazzed up on caffeine and no one gets mad. It’s my social utopia, a place of my own creation in which I have complete control.

Where is this Utopia, you ask? Why it exists on Facebook. I have 173 Facebook friends; that’s more than I’ve ever known in real life. You see, I’m sort of anti-social. I don’t really like people that much. They say stupid things and some have really dumb ideas about the world. Unfortunately, in the real world, I have to interact with people I may not like in order to successfully network. But on Facebook, there’s no need to bother with such (un)pleasantries. On Facebook, I can just hide the people I disagree with. That’s right, hide them. That way I never have to see them, never have to read the nonsense they post, but I can still keep them as a contact in case I ever need them for anything. Brilliant!

There is never any fighting on my Facebook wall. I don’t like drama, so I’ve hidden all the dramatic people with chaotic lives.

None of the friends I see post depressing news stories; they only post quirky stories like this one http://www.newsweek.com/id/161559 . Then there are the random pet videos and pictures like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5faVzWUPLk . Who knew Clint Eastwood had a bunny?

I am very politically minded, but in my world, the vast majority of people lean Left. If you look at my wall, you will see many links to political stories. There are 3 conservatives I don’t hide though. Got to have some sort of balance, plus I’m related to one of them.

I will admit that I don’t like the games on Facebook and I really hate seeing the progress postings of my friends who play. Luckily though, I can just hide the games and not the person. My wall would be pretty empty if I hid these friends all together. (It seems the ones who play games are the ones hanging out online the most often.)

Sometimes people go through a rough spell like getting divorced or losing their job. They whine on and on about how crappy their life is most of the time mingled with posts about how strong they are and how there is a better life waiting. Blah, blah, blah….I hide them too. I don’t want to get bummed out when I go to my Facebook page. I’ve got my own problems thank you very much.

I can visit my Facebook friends anytime. I can even hang out with them when I’m at work! I can hang out with them if I’m in my pajamas with messy hair and bad breath. They don’t care; to them I always look like my profile pic. (Which is sometimes Pinky and The Brain btw).

My Facebook page is a place I go to escape the boredom of daily life. I don’t want my screen junked up with emotional problems, drama, or conservative drivel. I want to see bunnies and cartoons damn it. I want to know what Julie is doing and how Lys is feeling today. Maybe I’ll listen to a random song posted by Nicole and read Tim’s rantings about the right. I might even get lucky and see an interesting link about cyborgs posted by Andy.

My Facebook world is a world of my own making. And there’s nothing wrong with that. =)

Just in case you aren’t on the NRA’s call list….

I may be unusual, but I love my gun. It makes me feel safe, because I know criminals have guns – and that won’t change.

But I have to tell you that the NRA needs to be stopped. They try to trick the stupid gun owners into joining them with savvy telemarketers. It is shameful, and we all know they just use the money to support Republicans, who are bad for society.

The NRA has been calling our house for months, and we always ignore them. They have never left a message. They called again today, and my husband decided to answer.

The guy on the phone had a spiel about how France and the UN are trying to make the world gun free and take away our right to bear arms, and asked if my husband thought they should stay out of our business or something to that effect.

My husband said that yes, they shouldn’t have a say in our gun rights (or laws; however you choose to view it).

So then the guy tries to sell my husband a 5 year membership for some $135 or so. My husband asks about something shorter-term and cheaper, like 1 year. He is told that he will be transferred to someone to get information about it. My husband asked if he would be under any obligation to get information about the 1 year membership from it. The guy said no.

So they transfer him to someone else and they play the message about “this call may be recorded for training”, yada, yada. Then a woman answers and says, “I need to confirm that you are interested in a one year membership.”

So the dumb gun owner says, “Yes,” and they are apparently committed.

My husband said, “No, that’s not the case. I was told I was under no obligation to receive information about your offer.”

“That’s not so,” she replied, “You have to agree to the membership to get the information.”

“Please take me off of your list.” And she was apparently taken aback with surprise.

I just wanted to let you know that the organizations that play a huge part in getting Republicans elected are still trying to get money, and they are getting aggressive and tricky.

We all know they will stop at no length to regain control of the government, and these organizations help fund their campaigns.

 Please, if you know a stupid gun owner, tell them not to answer the phone. Tell them the NRA is actually a tricky new liberal group, No Republicans for America, or something.

I’m throwing my two cents in - again.  I have been conflicted about this idea of health care for all Americans for some time now. It is really easy to sit back and point out all the negatives when you have good health insurance and a job to pay for it. People don’t normally like to venture out of their own little bubble and put themselves in different shoes because it’s uncomfortable and may force us to look at things differently than we are accustomed to.

I am an Army Veteran, and I will be one of the first to say that for some things, the VA Hospital is a joke. And as long as I have a choice, I will not see their doctors. And Fr the last seven years I have been fortunate enough to be in that position. I have good health insurance that includes dental and vision. I pay $150 a month for my whole family. So, from this perspective, it was so easy to say “hell no” to the government getting involved in health insurance. It was easy to see the flaws and waste in government run programs and point to them as reasons NOT to enact health care run by them.

But, the other day, I couldn’t work all of a sudden. I have a disability and it is getting in my way. My employer indicated that I may have to pay upwards of $600 for my insurance if I couldn’t get the FMLA paperwork to them. Mind you, this is with no income. Suddenly, I’m on the other side of the issue. Now, public health insurance doesn’t sound as bad, and I started to find comfort in the fact that I can go to the VA if I have an infection or something.

Funny how an outlook can change just by changing shoes. We all need to find some compromise on this issue and make basic health care available to everyone.

My husband and I have been talking about moving to California for a while, but the reality of it seemed to keep moving farther and farther away from us. Most recently, we had planned on using our income tax return to get some things in order and save for the move. It didn’t happen though; that was in January. I was feeling a little sad about the move being pushed back, but at the same time I was a little relieved.

The thought of giving up my steady job and moving to the other side of the country is scary, and I was giving that fear too much weight. I was procrastinating, trying to put off the uncomfortableness of change and the unknown. I still wanted to do it, just not right away.

Then, in another stroke of seemingly bad luck, my hip bursitis reared its ugly head with a vengeance. I haven’t been able to work and consequently will have less money. This situation has turned out to be a blessing in disguise however.

I was lucky because I was forced to begin thinking about how my life would be if I stayed in Ohio where mother nature seems to unleash her mood swings. I realized that the thought of staying here and not being able to function and work was even scarier than moving. My job was the main thing keeping me here, but I see now that I will lose it eventually because of my condition anyway. Why prolong the inevitable? Why go on suffering the cold weather if I don’t have to?

I asked my Orthopedist if a warmer, dryer climate might improve my pain, and he said yes. Bursitis is similar to arthritis in that barometric pressure changes can trigger bouts of pain from it. He indicated that I probably wouldn’t feel much pain at all in such a climate. So I am moving to a California, and I am psyched!!

We sat down and talked seriously about it last Saturday and decided to make a few changes that will help us get there. My husband was blessed to have landed the first job he interviewed for and started working Tuesday night. Since my condition is the result of an Army injury, I have been in appeals with the VA trying to get a fair rating for it and I received a letter stating that they had granted part of it. I should be getting a small sum that will make up for my lost paycheck. And I should be able to go back to my job on March 15th if all goes as planned.  Money was the main barrier to us going and this obstacle is being overcome.

We cut our TV package down by over half today. We were going to get rid of it altogether, but they made us an offer would couldn’t refuse (teehee). We are listing a lot of things that we don’t want to drag there with us on the internet and will be saving this money for the moving bill. It is a hard market to sell in so I’ve been letting people know that by this summer my place will be for sale at a really good price. I have seen some interest. Once I go back to work, my husband’s income will all be able to go for the move.

This thing that seemed so terrible has given me the push I needed to overcome my fears and follow my dream of moving. Thus begins our adventure of moving to the other side of the country.

Life as we know it can change in an instant.

It is so easy to fall into the patterns of daily living, thinking each day will be like the last. But in an instant, your whole world can change. Suddenly, today isn’t like yesterday, and all that time you thought you had seems like so much less. A repeating cycle of Trochanteric Bursitis is what has changed my life, but it could be any major life change such as a divorce, death, job loss, etc. It is at these times that we are forced to re-evaluate our choices and plans. All we can do is hope we appreciated what we had when we had it; nothing lasts forever. We would do well to keep that in mind as well.

I sit here wondering if I appreciated my easy mobility enough when I had it. I think I did pretty well; I traveled and hiked in my teens and early twenties. Not that I wouldn’t like to still be able to do things like that, but I did get to experience them, and that is good. And I’m pretty certain that a different climate will help, so I do see some hope for my situation although it will require a major change.

I’m not going to lie, there are times that I feel really, really bad. Sometimes, I find myself cussing because I’m jealous that people in their 60′s can walk faster than I can. I’m 36, what kind of crap is that! Every time it happens I spend a few days or weeks feeling depressed and angry and mean. The pain and all the difficulty it causes build to the point that I can’t take a single other thing. I am so overstimulated from trying to repress the constant pain that someone just speaking to me will set me off. I become a short tempered bitch, and I can see my family getting hurt by it. My kids wondering why mom is being so hard on them and they can’t seem to do anything right. Then they start acting out because they are hurt. Of course, I do not act this way on purpose. I don’t even realize what I’m doing at first. It is an involuntary consequence of denying what I’m feeling in order to go on day after day and continue to provide for them. Then at some point I do realize how I’m acting; I stop and acknowledge what I’m feeling physically and realize something has to give. A person can only take so much pain before their personality starts to change.  

This most recent spell has put me into the worst position to date concerning my job and earning capacity. I have a full-time job that is steady and has great benefits. But, as hard as this is to admit, I just can’t overcome the pain. And pain pills are great at first because it feels so nice to have the pain dulled a bit. After a few days though, the side effects become just as unbearable as the pain is.

I have been doing yoga for an hour each day, which is helping my flexibility. I see the Orthopedist today and will most likely get a cortisone injection. If all goes well, I hope to be at the YMCA by Thursday doing physical therapy exercises and spending time in the warming pool. My goal is to get my thigh and core muscles in shape which my research says should help decrease the pain to a tolerable level. I’d like to be able to be back at work in a few weeks.

In the mean time, I am refocusing on what is truly important to me in life. And I have to come up with a new game plan so that can I live as well as possible with respect to my limitations.

I have recently been taken down by a condition that just won’t go away! I have been trying to just suck it up and drive on since the end 2006. I’ve been on all kinds of medicine, tried physical therapy, and finally had surgery, but it just won’t Go Away! Last week the pain became so much, again, that I can’t work. I could probably do it if I could work while reclining and get a nap break every few hours, but somehow, I don’t think my employer will go for that. I will get potentially my last paycheck this Friday. WTF?!? What is a person supposed to do when something like this happens?

I could freak out from fear, which I do feel twinges of from time to time, but I have to talk myself out of such unproductive thinking. I did wallow in it for a couple of good days of crying and being angry; that was enough.

Now I am looking at it as an adventure in living. How frugal can I be? What costs can I cut? Can I get well enough to go back to work soon?  And how long will I be able to do it this time? What can I do to overcome this disability or at the very least be able to function with it? Is there a better climate for me?  Just what do I do now?

Over the course of the next several weeks or months, I will be exploring the answers to these questions.  Maybe the things I find out will be able to help someone else in a similar situation.

Let me begin by saying that my husband and I are both very stubborn people, probably abnormally stubborn. This works both for us and against us in trying to get along. When we are in agreement, there is little that can stop us from achieving our goal; however, when we are in disagreement, watch out…it’s like Clash of the Titans.

I don’t know of any couple who doesn’t disagree from time to time; but how they handle the disagreements is important. I will be honest, when we fight, it’s intense. Each of us feels like we are right and that the other person just isn’t listening to us. And in the beginning of our relationship, we would butt heads instead of trying to reach some sort of compromise. We just couldn’t Listen to what the other one was saying because we were each too concerned about our own feelings of hurt.

(A Secret: At some point though, we did start listening to each other and learning from our destructive fighting.)

From that point on, we have used our fights as tools to learn from. No, things aren’t perfect. We still have misunderstandings, irrational emotions, and conflict. We still fight when these things arise. BUT – when it’s all over, we sit down and discuss ways in which we can communicate more effectively and push each others buttons less.

In these 10 years, our fighting has become less frequent and intense. The fights are over sooner and we don’t hurt each other as much during them. I say this is progress. Of course, a deep love for one another is also important, but isn’t that why we got married in the first place? The hard part is learning to live with and compromise with each other until we die. =)

Not that long ago, Forbes listed the city of Dayton, Ohio as one of the fastest dying cities in the United States. The situation here isn’t great. We have lost a lot of manufacturing and other good jobs the past several years, and work here is scarce. Ohio has an unemployment rate of 10.1% (as of 9/09). The unemployment rate in Dayton has been above 10% this entire year. It peaked at about 12.2% in July and has been slowly decreasing to the 10.7% it was in September, according to economagic.com.  When there are no jobs, people often turn to criminal activities to support themselves. The longer there are no jobs, the more crime takes hold. This in turn makes new businesses not want to come here. It is a vicious cycle.

The group Citizens 4 Change was started by a U.S. soldier. Here is a link to their web site http://www.ourdayton.com/ . He has done an exceptional job organizing this group and contacting all the right people. He has asked business owners what it would take to get them to consider Dayton as a location. The answer, by the way, was to reduce crime first and foremost. He has networked with citizens through facebook and twitter, as well as his web site. Citizens 4 Change is going to have its first meeting in December at the Downtown Library. He has even tried to get the political groups involved. Although, C4C is not a political or partisan organization. It is purely and simply, an organization of real citizens committed to work toward a better future for their city. This is what makes it so wonderful, and this is why I think it will work.

Any citizens looking to make a change in their city should take some time to check out the C4C website. There is a lot to be learned from the work done so far. I encourage you all to check them out on facebook, twitter, or their website. I gave you a link to the website above. Following are the twitter and facebook links.

http://twitter.com/ourdayton   

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/group.php?gid=107340806290&ref=ts

Oh, and here’s a myspace page  http://www.myspace.com/ourdayton

Check them out. It is just another example of what’s Great in Dayton!