Always forgive your enemies – Nothing annoys them so much.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
When you’re right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one forgets.
Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.(Friend or Money !)
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.
There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.
Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.